March is proving to be a toughie

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This week I am reminded strongly of how our thoughts control our minds, our bodies, how we engage with each day, living in the moment (or not, as the case may be).

In 6 weeks time I have my mammogram; a bizarre way to 'celebrate' my 4th anniversary of discovering breast cancer. Already I can feel myself tensing up, acting slightly irrationally when over-tired, imagining that the recent changes in my breast and scar tissue is due to a new invader. In reality, it's because I've been sleeping on my back, after 3.5 years of sleeping curled up on my side, and my whole rib and chest is opening up and freeing itself.

But March is proving to be an energetic and emotional toughie.

I find I'm being far more vocal about things I am not comfortable with.

I have moments where I feel very angry.

I am feeling tired because I am oh-so-worried about people dear to me, going through the mill health-wise, undergoing a seemingly-endless battery of tests, scans, surgical procedures.

So I am being reminded of my own mortality, of my own healing process that is STILL going on.

I am being reminded that my adrenal glands are still taking a holiday.

I am being reminded to rest.

To do what makes me happy, to help balance out the things that are stressing me - be they in my mind, or actual events that are outside of my control.

I choose mindful moments when I catch myself feeling tense, or unable to breathe deeply. I choose to take time to allow myself to feel whatever it is I am feeling.

If my eggs crack under the pressure, it's ok. I can always bake a cake and enjoy a slice (not the whole thing) without beating myself up.

I choose to see today as a good day.

(as shared originally on

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